Have you ever spent a bunch of money on buying a gift for someone special, really trying to make them feel loved, only to have it fall flat?
It's so disappointing, because your message didn’t land AND you’re out of pocket. It’s something many of us have experienced, but the good news is - there is a way to ensure that any gift, big or small, hits the mark!
Years ago I was watching Oprah (love me some Oprah), and this dude Gary Chapman came on, speaking about The Five Love Languages.
As he moved through them, it hit me smack in the face...
- This love languages thing is real, and
- My partner and I have different primary love languages.
Ahhh... epiphany moment!
In our family, we tend to favour Words of Affirmation as our primary love language. Our parents always told us how much they loved us, and what they loved about us, and how proud of us they were. They still do. In my partner's family, they show each other how much they love each other. Their primary love language is Acts of Service. They cook, make cups of tea, help each other out. You don’t necessarily have the same primary love language as your fam, but I have noticed a bit of a pattern.
All of a sudden I could see so clearly my partner genuinely trying to show me his love, as I genuinely tried to show mine, and we were totally missing each other. From that day on, we got the message, and also vowed to practice using the other’s love language from time to time so that the other felt loved.
So what on earth does all this have to do with buying gifts? If you know someone’s love language, you can put together a gift that communicates in their language, so they hear just how important they are to you.
So for example you could give...
Words of Affirmation - A letter, thoughtful card, personalised poem read out to them
Quality Time - A weekend away with you, a babysitter, or a picnic basket
Receiving Gifts - Surprise them with several smaller gifts throughout the day, or a subscription service of some kind - the gift that keeps on giving, wrap the gift beautifully
Acts of Service - Do something on their behalf that they’ve been meaning to get done, buy them a cleaner/gardener/assistant service, make them a special breakfast
Physical Touch - Massage or facial, a dancing lesson with you, give them extra love all day
It really depends on the person though. You can get much more creative and specific when you have a particular person in mind, so that no matter how much you spend, it’s going to hit the mark every time. Finally!
Lots of love ;)